There was a Japanese man who wanted to join the police force but he was two inches too short. He went and had his back and legs stretched out but it wasn't enough. Then, the day before his interview, he had his wife hit him over the head repeatedly with a two by four to make welts so he would be tall enough.
I only hope there wasn't also an IQ test.
When I was a kid, I was extremely short also. But these I didn't try. What I did do, though, was tape my ears to the side of my head one night. I thought they stuck out too far. When I woke up in the morning, I was sad that nothing had changed.
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